Happy Thanksgiving!
The weekly introduction:
This story is for Friday Fictioneers that is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
Friday Fictioneers is a group or arrangement that works as follows:
Every week you get a picture.
Prompted by that picture, you write a piece of fiction that is 100 words long (or as close as you can get).
You add a link to your story on the Fictioneers page, and read the (awesome) stories by the other Friday Fictioneers.
Feel free to join us! Everyone is welcome.
Below is my story for this week and below that is the picture prompt.
——-
“We’re close! We’ll soon be the first to lay claim to the Chamber of Golden Statues.”
“All that climbing and crawling has made me tired!”
“Don’t worry, we are almost there. Here’s a hole we could crawl through.”
“But the sage at the village said we shouldn’t touch these marked walls.”
“Stop whining and help me squeeze in.”
“But there’s -”
“Push me!”
“But there’s -”
“Come on! My shoulders can just squeeze through.”
“But there’s an entrance over there!”
A sound like that of a gong, a flash of light, and two new statues were added to the Chamber.
Copyright Joyce Johnson
——-
100 words
Your comments are welcome and much appreciated, even if I take long to respond and even if I do not respond individually. I read all your comments.
Fellow Friday Fictioneers, it seems some of my comments on your wonderful stories simply disappear or get marked as Spam 😦 so please don’t think that I don’t bother to comment. I would like to state that I am a real person and not selling anything. At least not on your blogs. 🙂
Behind the scenes – you can skip this part if you do not like seeing ‘The Making of [insert movie name]‘:
Our Great Leader again pushed us a bit more. I saw the picture on Wednesday, was stumped, took some time, thought of a possible story and wrote it in a few minutes on Thursday.
The story had about 119 words. I cut them down to just under 100, then I remembered some comments I had received from fellow Fictioneers on an earlier story, and Rich’s dialogues, and I put in contractions.
Now I was down to about 92 words, so I actually added more words (Yeah, I’m a little weird like that) and hit 100 :-).
This time I could only come up with one had no bonus story.
Baba Amor's Thoughts 
Nice – very Indiana Jones and the only thing I might mention is that I think the word ‘it’ might be missing from the fourth sentence.
Thank you!
I’m sorry I cannot detect the sentence you mean. Please copy and paste the entire sentence.
It was this one “Don’t worry, we’re about to reach.”
Hmmmm. I actually think it’s fine as it is, but now that you mention it, I will research the matter.
Thanks.
When I read it, it didn’t feel as if the sentence had ended – it needs to read something like we’re about to reach it or we’re about to reach in … hope that makes sense 🙂
I have just changed it 🙂
I think what I had written was Kenyan English.
Ah .. I sometimes write in Dorset English so quite understand where it’s coming from 🙂
Good one Abraham, very Indiana Jones-like.
Thanks Sandra!
That was the first thing that came to my mind too. Very well done!
I agree that it has an Indiana Jones feel to it and reemphasizes that you should always follow the directions of a sage. 🙂
I think you need what they’re going to reach in the sentence “Don’t worry, we’re about to reach.” About to reach what? You could also save a few words by saying “A sound like a gong” instead of a ““A sound like that of a gong.” Gives you two more words. You could even say “We’ll be the first to lay claim” instead of “soon be the first” and have yet another word. One more before I go–“All that climbing and crawling has made me tired!” could simply be “All that climbing and crawling is tiring!” More words!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.
Thanks Janet!
If you notice my comments at the end, I actually added (needless?) words to get back up to 100 🙂
It’s OK not to reach 100, too. 🙂
LOLL! I know! 🙂 I was just playing around with words and adding tiny bits of info
That was good! 🙂
Happy thanksgiving day!
Thank you!
Good one Abraham
Thanks Boomie
Hi Abraham,
Should have listened to the sage! So that’s where statues come from. Ron
At least some of them 🙂
This makes me want the rest of the story. Will there be a way for them? Is there key to the escape? Then again, I know the type…those that think rules aren’t for them…maybe they deserve to be “in stone”, ya think?
It would seem the judgement is cast in stone 🙂
Good adventure there… enjoyed it..the dialogue was great! How about ”reach…” with 3 dots?
Glad you enjoyed.
I have rephrased the offending line
oh dear!! Not offending! Very good story, Thanks!
Disputed. Incorrect. Questionable… Take your pick 🙂
well done. nice surprise ending. and thanks for the nod on the dialogue suggestion.
Thanks.
I suspect my comments on your stories get marked as spam.
not at all, sir. not that i’ve seen.
Then either you don’t like my praises 🙂 or they simply disappear.
they disappear? i saw them, and said thanks, but i didn’t know that others can’t see them. thanks for alerting me. i’ll have to look into it.
you were right. i went through the spam folder and found your comments. i am very sorry and did not know that was happening. there were several from others on the FF list as well. thanks for letting me know.
No problem 🙂
Better ‘spam’ than ‘disappeared’ 🙂
Good one Abraham,They were too eager, and should have paid more attention.
Mine is here this week http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/11/22/friday-fictioneers-pride-goes/
Thanks, Anne!
I felt cramped into a small space as I read this. Good job, Abraham. As for the prompt, the “Great Leader” didn’t have the kernel of an idea until early Thursday morning. Mine’s 99 words. I’m obsessive about not going over. 😉
Thanks!
The Friday Fictioneering offers excellent practice.
It is a good feeling to keep in at 100 or under and still get the story in.
Oohhh, I LIKED this one! Sounds like the boys got absorbed. Terrific, Abraham! Loved it!
Thank you! Glad you liked it.
Congratulations, I have nominated you for an Inspiring Blogger award because your great thoughtful blogs have always inspired me.
So, here are the rules:
1. Display the award image on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers and link to their sites.
5. Notify the bloggers that they have been nominated and link to the post.
Thank you for your encouragement and being an inspiration to me!
Hmmmmm.
Thanks for including me!
I am honoured.
I will work on my nominations.
I guess they should have gone through the proper entrance. This one took me awhile too.
Was a tough one. Makes me almost fear the next one 🙂
Hi Abraham, I did indeed find your comments in the spam a couple of weeks ago, but after marking them as not spam, they come up nice. 😉 your story I really liked.
Thanks!
Very nice, Abraham. I like the squeezing and pushing through the walls and having the walls be marked. Very mysterious and intriguing!
Thank you!
I love your take on the prompt and the way the characters are set up to mirror exactly the positions in the photo. Great work Abraham.
And thank you for the Behind the Scenes – it’s great to know the thought processes that go with the stories.
Thanks! And I’m glad to hear you like the Behind the Scenes.
Nice job. Didn’t expect that.
Thank you!
They never listen to the sage, do they? I also enjoyed the ‘behind the scenes’.
If they did, we would not have these good stories 🙂
Glad you enjoyed the Behind the scenes
Dear Abraham,
You could not get me into such a small space for all the golden statues in the world. A great story that left me feeling frozen in that place.
Aloha,
Doug