The weekly introduction:
This story is for Friday Fictioneers that is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
Friday Fictioneers is a group or arrangement that works as follows:
Every week you get a picture.
Prompted by that picture, you write a piece of fiction that is 100 words long (or as close as you can get).
You add a link to your story on the Fictioneers page, and read the (awesome) stories by the other Friday Fictioneers.
Feel free to join us! Everyone is welcome.
Below is the picture prompt for this week and below that is my story.
——-
I’ve just arrived, but I’m pleased to report that the initial reports were evidently false.
This place is bright, with lights even marking the outlines of the buildings.
The outer walls of the buildings are so shiny and smooth, that I simply must see the inside.
The people walk the uncrowded, wide and clean streets even at night. They don’t harm each other. Instead, they give each other items, eat together and sing.
Their vehicles are few and neatly parked with lots of space between them.
My verdict: activate the time machine and send all applicants back here to 2005.
—
100 words
Your comments are welcome and much appreciated, even if I take long to respond and even if I do not respond individually. I read all your comments.
Behind the scenes – you can skip this part if you do not like seeing ‘The Making of [insert movie name]‘:
I wrote this story within a few minutes of receiving the prompt. I wanted to polish it some, but yesterday (Thursday) I was occupied writing some emails.
I almost did not post, but I decided, like someone said last week, better to swing and miss than not swing at all.
I said 2005 because of the picture file name 🙂
You hid the ending very well there! I liked the brief report’s humdrum observations, and of course, the slight edge of the ending is the absolute power in being able to just ‘zip’ the ‘applicants’ there. Nice one.
I am happy to hear that!
Very original take on the prompt there Abraham. Enjoyed this. Personally, I’d go a bit further back than 2005… 🙂
🙂
Glad you enjoyed.
Great concept, and I like how the mood dictates his decision – good job!
Thanks!
did you intend to suggest that society in several ways has deteriorated in the past 7 years? if so – well done. if not – happy accident.
Not quite. I intended to suggest that society/the world is not as nice as a Christmas picture may suggest to a visitor. I originally wanted the visitor to be an alien 🙂
i was thinking alien at first, until the time machine reference.
If we were thinking alike, then I am pleased to argue that I may be a great mind 🙂
that goes both ways. thanks.
Very unique approach… I like it very much. Maybe 2000 lol. Enjoyed this
Glad you liked it Boomie.
Seems people have their favourite years 🙂
Truly said…life was better then than now…wait a sec, will it always get worse? Time will tell. lovely prose here.
Thanks.
Indeed time will tell
You swung and got a solid hit! It looks as though my observations have already appeared in the prior comments so I’ll simply say, “Ditto.”
Thanks!
Hi Abraham,
I’m glad you decided to post. Great descriptions which lead up to an unexpected twist ending. Could I borrow your time machine? I just want to go back a couple of weeks and eat Thanksgiving dinner again! Ron
LOLL!
Very funny Ron.
That is where you would start. But who knows where/when you would think of next
Time machines… Personally I enjoyed 1992.
Hmmmm.
I won’t ask why 🙂
Too bad all Christmas shopping isn’t like this. So calm, lots of parking…it seems so pleasant. Nice, Abraham!
Deceptively so 🙂
Hi Abraham,
Glad you posted this week. I love time travel stories. I think the reporter needs to investigate further. 😉 Nicely written.
The earlier reports that the reporter dismisses were more accurate 🙂
I certainly hope the applicants find it to be as tranquil and organised as the picture suggests. I’d warn them not to venture anywhere near the interiors on Christmas Eve though ;-). Definitely a good swing.
I fear they will be in for some surprises 🙂
Thanks!
I count this as a hit, and your OBP is up. But…. now there are lots of questions, where were they coming from. Why — was there an evil intent, or was this a travel agent checking out a nice place in time?
Thanks!
Yes this was a scout from the future.
cool — it’s always interesting to think of what time would one pick given the choice.
Very interesting take on this prompt. Loved it.
Thank you!
I foresee some overcrowding in that future. 🙂
You got that right!
🙂